I came home yesterday to find my 17 year old cat, Sergei, not acting like himself. He was doing the following things, all of which are not normal behavior:
- Not eating any solid food, but drank some milk
- He lost control of his left legs – they would collapse beneath him
- He was walking in circles, and at times acted like he didn’t know where he was
- Was hiding in small dark spots around the house
- He would not close his eyes or sleep – he was probably afraid he would not wake up
- He was relaxed around our 17 month old toddler – he always runs away as soon as he sees or hear her
- I didn’t see him use the litter box at all the entire night
- He wouldn’t purr when I cuddled or held him
My cat is dying. I immediately took him into the bathroom, placed him in my lap, and started sobbing. I was crying so hard I couldn’t breathe, and my eyelids became red and puffy.
I spent the entire night with him, cuddling him, talking to him, kissing him, offering milk so he wouldn’t be dehydrated or hungry. He seemed happy to cuddle, but then he would run away. When he got away, he didn’t know where he wanted to go.
I took him to bed with me, but he didn’t stay too long. I woke up at 5 am desperate to check on him – was he still alive? He was hiding under Estelle’s bed. I took him and cuddled with him for another hour, offered him some more milk, and then went back to bed.
The whole night, I knew that this would be the last time I saw him. I made my peace with him, knowing that when I take him to the vet the next morning, it would be his final stop.
I held Sergei at the vet as we let him go. I kept telling him, “I’m sorry. I love you. You had a great life. I’m sorry.” It happened fast… way too fast. He left this world today, November 21, 2012 at 12:28 pm.
Goodbye Sergei, my dearest friend. I will miss the way you rubbed your nose with mine – that was how we kissed. I will miss your beautiful green eyes and when you squinted them at me – that was how you said, “I love you.” I will miss cuddling with you and hearing your soothing purr. I will love you forever. You are at peace now.
And this is the last photo I took of Sergei… right before we went to the vet. 🙁
